Late Night TV is SH!T

I'm one of those people who often is watching late night TV. Actually I don't usually stay up late, instead I fall asleep early then find myself awake at 3am looking for something to entertain me. Forget waking the wife - it's either selfabuse or TV so the choice it obvious. Thank god for adult swim and the week old replays of Conan. Even the news junkie that I am I can only watch so much CNN, Faux News or MSNBC (I like Imus sometimes - he's not so funny but that guy that plays the characters like Dr Phil is a gut buster).

So anyway, just cruising the channels there is of course a ton of infomercials. These things are awful - but lately all I seem to keep seeing is this slimy John Waters look alike talking about fecal matter.



I whipped out the webcam and took this pic so it's pretty bad - but you get the idea.

And the two people that are sitting there looking at him like he's on some scholarly dissertation. Hey people - it a fucking enema!

Now if it really was John Waters that might be entertainment. After all before Hairspray made him all legit he was best known for bringing us Divine in Pink Flamingos eating runny dog shit.
At least that was art. HA!

Quail Hunting School

I've been very busy but I did take a few minutes to relax and hunt at Quail Hunting School.

I did shoot Harry once on the first round but got my certificate on the second.

Deadeye Dick

Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a 78-year-old friend while they were hunting quail on a ranch in Texas. Dick, who was granted deferments five times from the military, was none the less reported to be an experienced hunter.


Big Dick and friends admire his weapon

The veep's fellow target hunter, an attorney, was reported to have only been hit by a 'few' pellets of birdshot in the face and neck.

George Bush was reported to have said, "You're doin' one hellva job Dickie".

HVD

Those Bastards

Flag

You Make A Dead Man......

Well I mentioned SBXL commercials yesterday but avoided any mention of halftime. I considered mentioning the censorship but that was about as boring as the show itself. Really. Yawn.


I like the Stones, I like their music, but that show stunk.

So now Mickey and his gang of raging retirement home fugitives are saying they didn't agree to the censorship.

I'm thinking they did and it's just a little face saving and more publicity.

Clowning Around

Over on Baketown she posted a 'four things' post that included jobs.
In the comments it was pointed out she had worked as a party clown and Dexter points out that he was a party clown at some ice cream place on Ming.(hmmp, never heard of it. Of course how many people recall that the Lie'N'Den was once The Hot Dog Show - a kid's party place with a circus theme?)

Well it made me recall Zippy the Clown and a little story. First off I tried to find if there was anything on line about him. I only really found this Fired Up blog entry from about a year ago. Not much there and the comments drift off topic fast.

Zippy did the afternoon local kids cartoon show and the Sat kid shows at the Fox. He was always the sidekick, first with George Day and then later with Uncle Woody of the Toy Circus. I don't recall if Harry Mitchell(sp?) was ever with Zippy. In the days before over-indulgent parents rented limos and rented out sports arenas Zippy also hired out as party entertainment for kids.

Zippy was a 'little person', probably about four foot. He had a hard face - a really hard face - and didn't wear makeup. Instead he relied on the typical clown costume with a short but pointy hat, a vest over puffy shirt and pants sans oversized shoes.

One day when I was about 10 or 11, some of my friends and myself were walking home from school. Yes kids really did that! It was about 3/4 of a mile and we usually stopped at the liquor store and bought candy and soft drinks. There behind the gas station next door was parked a 1956 blue and white Ford and driving it was Zippy. We fast gathered 'round and all had to take a look at Zippy's booster cushioned seat and extended pedals. Zippy wasn't mean to us but he wasn't overly friendly like you would think a clown that spent his time with kids should be. No, what he was and we all knew it, was pretty well boozed up. As we continued the walk home we sort of gossiped about it as we walked away then started laughing realizing what a pain in the ass job he had.


(In an effort to find some kind of graphic to add to this post I did a google image search on 'midget clown'. I honestly had no idea there was so much porn involving midgets and clowns. Ain't the internet grand? Surely those boys over at the Californian have some photos of ol Zippy.)

Go Daddy Super Ads

Go Daddy, my internet name registrar of choice, had four super bowl ads this year. Only one was allowed.

See all the Super Bowl ads and Go Dadddy's at
http://video.google.com/superbowl.html

Gotta luv that Go Daddy girl.


or at the Go Daddy site see them all
https://www.godaddy.com/gdshop/superbowl06/
timeline.asp?se=%2B&ci=5479

Serious For A Moment

So many posts today. To be serious for a moment.
Here are a couple of articles worth reading.

Ben Stein
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/29/
business/yourmoney/29every.html?_r=3&oref=
slogin&oref=slogin

Thus, in a series of evil events, management of UAL basically ruined the lives of the employee-owners, if that is not putting too fine a point on it, by taking away their savings, incomes and pensions. ...........

Here comes the good part: management has asked the bankruptcy court to let it have — free — roughly 15 percent of the stock in the new company, or about $900 million. Mr. Tilton, the chief executive, who plays the Orson Welles character in this drama, would get about $90 million personally for his hard work shepherding UAL through bankruptcy (for which he was already paid multiple millions of dollars).

The bankruptcy court, instead of ordering Mr. Tilton's arrest, instead cut the management share to about 8 percent, so he will get more than $40 million, more or less.

A tale of greed beyond belief, but it's happening all around us.

And George Will
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article
/2006/01/30/AR2006013001159.html

Tonight, on the 1,050th day of the Iraq war (the 912th day of American participation in World War II was D-Day), the nation needs an adult hour, including a measured meditation on overreaching, from the Middle East to Medicare's prescription drug entitlement. But in State of the Union addresses, rarely is heard a discouraging word.

And these are conservatives writing.
Think hard about it.

Roger Wilco

I used that term at work today and some of these kids I work with thought I was nuts.
Not withstanding my mental state, it reminded me of one of my favorite cartoons.
B. Kliban became famous for his drawings of fat striped cats.


Lesser known were his 'other books'
Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head
Whack Your Porcupine
Tiny Footprints


I had all three and kept them in the bathroom library. I'm not sure how many times I read each but I never stopped laughing at them. (the books are somewhere I just need to look - we have a lot of books). He was Gary Larson before Gary Larson.

Anyway the point being in one of the books was a cartoon labeled 'Roger Wilco'. It was an upper body shot of a guy with bad hair, pimpled face, no chin, thick glasses and a pocket protector full of pens and whatnot. It was the quintessential nerd. I guess being one myself only made it funnier (okay I wasn't that bad - I didn't wear glasses). I googled images today trying to find that cartoon, possibly to place on the door of my office. No luck.

But here are some of examples.








Several good ones here
http://www.blackjelly.com/Mag/gallery/klibanhome.htm

More More More (Blah Blah Blah)

Take your pick.
I've found so much in the news and the web today it's like over load time.

Seven Bates finds a site to tell every guy all he needs to know about selfabuse and then some.
http://advancedmasturbation.com/
Hmmm...... I may be offline the rest of the day. Repetitive motion injury ya know.

Beer & Present Danger on the LA Times
The game is simple enough for even your average registered voter to understand. Basically, every time Bush says "terror," "terrorism," "terrorist," "war on terror" or "Terror Dome," you drink.

Also drink when the president winks, nods and points at someone in the audience in rapid succession; drink each time he refers to 9/11 or uses the word "nuke-u-lar," and drink something bitter when he says that "the state of our union is strong."

Whenever there's a close-up of a sour-faced Democrat, drink. If it's Hilary Clinton, Ted Kennedy or Harry Reid, drink twice.

Hell I might have watched the damn thing if I were playing that.

A Religion That Grew From a Lot of Brew
On the South Pacific island of Tanna, beneath a volcano that rumbles and smokes, a guy wearing a fake U.S. Army uniform raises an American flag. Then 40 barefoot men march past, carrying fake rifles made of bamboo, their brown chests decorated with red paint spelling out "USA."

Later, a group of men slinging fake chainsaws sing a homemade hymn: "We've come from America to cut down all the trees so we can build factories."

This isn't a protest or a piece of performance art. It's a religious ceremony held every year on Feb. 15 -- John Frum Day, the high holy day of a South Pacific religion that worships a messiah who is, as Paul Raffaele writes in a wonderfully weird story in the February issue of Smithsonian, "an American god no sober man has ever seen.".........

Raffaele arrived in Tanna last February and within hours he was out in the jungle, drinking kava with some Frum worshippers. The stuff tasted "like muddy water," he writes, but it got him very stoned. After his third coconut shell full of kava, his guide carted him back to Raffaele's beach hut.

"By the seaside at my hut," Raffaele writes, "I dance unsteadily to the rhythm of the waves as I try to pluck the shimmering moon from the sky and kiss it."

Well maybe this flaming agnostic could get religion yet.

Both of these will probably disappear in a couple of weeks.

Ho Hum

Last night produced nothing new. Dubba told lies about how wonderful his administration is doing. Whined about things that haven't gone his way, pretends he's leading the world to freedom. He wants to reduce our dependence on middle east oil 75% over the next 20 years (did you know we only get about 10% of our oil from there now?). He continues to spy on anybody anytime he wants in spite of laws specifically created in 1978 to oversee such actions.

The only thing I see mentioned of worth is really just John McCain's proposal to limit earmarks. In light of the Abramoff scandal Dubba is mighty worried. see http://www.shns.com/shns/g_index2.cfm?action=
detail&pk=AMBROSE-01-31-06

Now if y'all really want to worry, Sam Alito is now a member of our highest court.