Friday, December 29, 2006

Wrap It Up

Well I've been kicked back with the winter holiday and all. Back in town and sorta back to work this week (mostly not).
So a little fun to end the year, this wiki surely is a joke.

http://www.wikihow.com/Hide-an-Erection
As guys, we all have times when we're caught off guard with an erect member. It can be embarrassing and awkward, especially when you're a teen, or you are in an important meeting or such. Here is what you can do to avoid such embarrassing situations.
Steps

1. Clothes are key in concealing an erection. Never wear tight clothes, or clothes that restrict movement. Jeans can be good or bad, as looser jeans tend to shield the growth, and tighter jeans accentuate it. Khaki pants are said to be good for hiding the erection, as well.
2. Underclothes can also be a factor. As a general rule, underpants are better than boxers. However, realizing that many men prefer boxers, it is not necessary to wear underpants
.....
8. When all else fails, go to the bathroom and "tuck it in" pointing up and held with the waistband of your trousers. Don't make it hurt, just hold it in place. The erection will be much less noticeable, and will go away presently. Then, pull up your waistband and free your poor penis.

See it must be a joke 'cause every guy knows #8 is wrong. Go into the bathroom yes. Tuck it in??? No, there's a better answer. Heh!

Have a good New Year and be careful out there.

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Too Good To Be True

LONDON (Reuters) - A devout Christian who said an accident at work boosted his libido and wrecked his marriage as he turned to prostitutes and pornography was awarded more than 3 million pounds ($5.89 million) in damages Tuesday.

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&
storyid=2006-12-19T162740Z_01_L19309213_RTRUKOC_0_US-HUSBAND.xml


Let see, sex drive up, 2 month nap, wife gone, porno and whores, and now almost $6 million dollars. Woo Hoo!

So what's the problem??? Sounds like most men's dreams come true.

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Christmas Cookies

Christmas Cookie Recipe

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal/Whiskey/Rum

- Sample the Liquor to check quality.

- Take a large bowl, check the Liquor again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

- Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Liquor is still OK, try another cup.. just in case.

- Turn off the mixer thingy.

- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

- Pick the frigging fruit off floor...



- Mix on the turner.

- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.

- Sample the Liquor to check for tonsisticity.

- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.... who giveshz a sheet.

- Check the Liquor.

- Now shift the lemon juice and strain the nuts.

- Add one table.

- Add a spoon of ar, or somefink.... whatever you can find.

- Greash the oven.

- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

- Don't forget to beat off the turner.

- Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

- Finish the bottle of Liquor.

- Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


- Cherry Mistmas and a Nappy Hew Jear.

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Soy Makes You Gay

Well here's one for all you health food nuts.....


In fetal development, the default is being female. All humans (even in old age) tend toward femininity. The main thing that keeps men from diverging into the female pattern is testosterone, and testosterone is suppressed by an excess of estrogen.

If you're a grownup, you're already developed, and you're able to fight off some of the damaging effects of soy. Babies aren't so fortunate. Research is now showing that when you feed your baby soy formula, you're giving him or her the equivalent of five birth control pills a day. A baby's endocrine system just can't cope with that kind of massive assault, so some damage is inevitable. At the extreme, the damage can be fatal.

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327

Well that explains all the gay Asians running rampant.

Tags:

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Friday, December 08, 2006

Hand Written

Should that be one word or two. Anyway I was reading a news item....
They couldn't remember how to write the letter "I."

Is it one loop or two? Does the pen start at the top of the squiggle or the bottom? "I forgot how to handwrite," says 18-year-old Kris Tofer Baker, as he mulls over the execution of a "w."

Don't misunderstand. Baker is an intelligent young man. He just hasn't needed to use cursive script since Grade 4.

"I print out or type the majority of my school work."

He's not alone. On the Ryerson and University of Toronto campuses, few students were able to handwrite naturally, when handed a black felt-tipped pen. After some moments of meditation, most remembered, sort of, how to script — although they couldn't remember the last time they needed to.

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/
ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/
Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1165272610506&call_pageid=968332188492


So I tried it. Not that I was ever a very good writer but man I really stink now. Twenty-five years on computers and the only thing I ever write is my signature. When I make notes or write check I always print.

Maybe I need this.

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How To Fake It At Christmas


Tags:

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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Chris Rock Sees the Future

This is suppose to be an intro to a Chris Rock show about 10 years ago.


Uncanny.
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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Nanny York

The nanny state at it's worst.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - New York City's board of health on Tuesday voted to phase out most artificial trans fats from restaurants, forcing doughnut shops and fast-food stands to remove artery-clogging oils from their cooking.

The law will require McDonald's and other fast-food chains that have not already eliminated trans fats to do so by July 2007. They will be given a three-month grace period before facing fines.

Makers of doughnuts and other baked goods will be given until July 2008 to phase out trans fats.


Well since y'all are too stupid to know what's good for you we'll place the onus on the businesses.

Please I'm not promoting unhealthy eating but if you want to avoid bad foods stay away from places that serve it. Any business that is concerned will do it and promote it. The only role government should play is making sure food establishments are clean and honest.

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Saturday, December 02, 2006

I Must Be Getting Old

Last night, while enjoying a happy hour cocktail or two, I couldn't remember the name of director Sam Peckinpah.


http://imdb.com/name/nm0001603/


Now there was a guy who could make a good kill 'em all movie.

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Friday, December 01, 2006

Return of The Blackboard

According to this post of nl's The Blackboard is returning.

http://www.nlbelardes.com/blogger/2006/11/
blackboard-free-press-to-gallop-back.html


I hope the website returns and according to Richard Bramer, the new force behind TBB, it's a priority (in the comments).

Good luck to him.

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Oddball

Not me, even if it does fit. Watching Olbermann last night and the 'Oddball' segment what comes up as number one?

The Condor's tonight will be giving to the first 2000 attendees a roll of toilet paper with the Falcon's logo printed on it.

Oh it so good to make the national news.

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