Friday, March 27, 2009

Keep It Simple

I'll probably stop working now - I just got this email

You have won $1,500,000.00 Dollars

Tel: +31-61-909-8936
Fax: +31-84-724-9563
lucky number 736-22575993-86 Ref:ES/9420X2/68
Mr.Walter Jones

and I don't even remember placing a bet...

Woo Hoo!


Friday, March 20, 2009

Major Waste Of Time #217

Okay, I pointed to many photo sites before. Love 'em.


but here's a new one for me - Viceland DOs & DON'Ts

Now most of the DOs really seem like DON'Ts but maybe that's just me. There's an obvious affinity for cute young girls in the DOs and plenty of gay bashing in the DON'Ts (and not that isn't deserved. The quips are pretty good too (for a canadian(s)).

a DO

It may not seem fair but some ladies just have an inborn regality, and that's something all the valium in the world can't take away.

a DON'T (free hugs??? eeeewwww!)

Is it homophobic to say gay people confuse the living shit out of me these days? Cowboys and bikers I get, but how did Hasids, Mennonites, blackjack dealers, fine Persian rugs, and those inflatable guys at gas stations make it into the mix?

a DO

I'm not sure what she's selling but sign me the fuck up. Combining copper complexion with fish eyes and a vague American Fascist sensibility may not have the guys beating a path to your door, but it makes anything that comes out of your mouth sound like the cool voice of reason. Even some Earth Crisis bullshit.

and a DON'T (really DON'T!)

Agreeing to have the stupidest thing you’ve ever said tattooed on your ass forever is like sacrificing a virgin to the riff gods.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009


All the outrage over the AIG bonuses from politicians seems just a little hypocritical. I don't like it either but at this blog one commenter has the best idea...

Marc, I have a modest proposal. Pay their bonuses in ShamWow. I hear a set of ShamWow is worth like $50 or something, and you can get them for only around $10 (if you act now). And they throw in a free set! So for every $10 we pay, the talented executives of AIG would get about $100 worth of ShamWow. They should totally go for this, because this is the sort of valuation they peddle.

Now we can't do this all day.....


Thursday, March 12, 2009

Never Waste A Good Crisis

As long as effort is focused on spending stimulus bills and not a banking fix we can expect this.

Or for some light reading...


Friday, March 06, 2009

Dear IRS

Dear IRS,

I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost.

I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog licence tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting licence tax, fishing licence tax, waterfowl stamp tax, inheritance tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, medicare tax, city, school and county property tax (up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle licence registration tax, capitol gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Oklahoma and New Mexico sales tax, and many more that I can’t recall but I have run out of space and money.

When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is an honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangle, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Dashelle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest.

P.S. I will make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus check.

Ed Barnett

Wichita Falls


The 2012 Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition

Slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill.....