indigenous geek: February 2009

BACON!

Oh this is too good...

I’ll get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of February, 2009, I, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon.
.....
Now for the fine print: “Bacon” shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words “American bacon”. No “Canadian bacon”, which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No “tofacon” or any such horror. Just bacon.

No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature’s finest bacon, all by its dignified self.

I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as “healthy”. This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.

start here http://blog.rifftrax.com/
2009/01/31/bacon-stupidity/ and follow the former MST3000 funnyman on his quest.

All in all it reminds me of one of my favorite jokes...

In an effort to stay on my diet I taped a picture of a pig to the door of the refrigerator. I then rigged a sound box to 'Oink' every time I opened the door. Now whenever I look in the frig all I can think of is how much better everything is with bacon on it.

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When I Think Of Nuts

hahahahahha!

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Darwin Day

In honor of Charles Darwin's 200th birthday we present the reasoning of the the most enlightened creationists.

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Calling Barney Fife

Ya gotta love these Sheriffs from the south.

COLUMBIA, S.C. -- Olympic superstar Michael Phelps could face criminal charges as part of the fallout from a photo that surfaced showing the swimmer smoking from a marijuana pipe at a University of South Carolina house party.

A spokesman for Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott, who is known for his tough stance on drugs, said Tuesday the department was investigating.

"Our narcotics division is reviewing the information that we have, and they're investigating what charges, if any, will be filed," said Lt. Chris Cowan, a spokesman for agency.

.....Where exactly the party occurred isn't clear. The university said its police have no evidence it was on campus, and city police said they won't pursue criminal charges unless more information comes forward.

The Richland County sheriff can pursue charges as long as the party was in the county, the spokesman said.

"The bottom line is, if he broke the law, and he did it in Richland County, he's going to be charged," Cowan said. "And there's no difference between Michael Phelps and several other people that we arrest for the same type of a charge everyday."

Under South Carolina law, possession of one ounce or less of marijuana is a misdemeanor that carries a fine up to $200 and 30 days in jail for the first offense. Possession of paraphernalia is a $500 fine.

The Richland County sheriff has long sought to fight drug crimes. He rose from patrol officer to captain of the narcotics division in the early 1990s, after the television series "Miami Vice" made its splash.

Lott played the part well. He wore stylish suits and had long hair then. He drove a Porsche seized from a drug dealer and even worked undercover with federal agents in Florida.