Smartass Rants

Well that's about the best way to call what this blog is a least suppose to be. The trouble with reading all this web stuff is that it's not always easy to determine the intent of a post. Well just so everyone knows, there are two things that pretty much can define my attitude about most subjects, I'm a cynic and a smartass.

When you read something here it might be me bitching but more likely I'm just trying to take a light look at things. I'm often a curmudgeon but I'm willing to listen to any argument you have to show how wrong you are.

Oh stop. Life is often hard. Get it off your chest and then have a good laugh.

Parking

With the the ubiquitous camera in the cell phone this was bound to happen.

http://www.youparklikeanasshole.com/



Of course some do it on purpose to protect their doors from dents from others. Some, my self included, just have trouble getting their vehicles into the dinky slots some place like to call parking places (blame this on greedy developers trying to meet government required minimum parking for buildings and the aholes that drive large oversized SUVs and trucks.)

Just an Ignoranus Sarchasming in the Bozone

The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

3. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

4. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

5. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

6. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.

7. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. [This one got extra credit.]

8. Karmageddon (n.): It's, like, when everybody is giving off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

9. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

10. Glibido (v.): All talk and no action.

11. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

13. Beelzebug (n.): Satan, in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3:00 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

14. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the publication:

15. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Okay Okay

I haven't managed to keep up like I said.
I've a new client I've been very busy setting up a new office for.
On the other hand I'm so rushed I had to do today's crossword in nine minutes.



Okay Moday's are really easy.

Nut Shot

Strictly male humor (this kinda stuff makes my wife just roll her eyes)...

PT Barnum Was Right

Watching the morning news there was a story about a Minneapolis coffee shop selling $10 cups of Kopi Luwak coffee. Coffee beans collected from the droppings of an Indonesian weasel. Yep, the civit cat eats the coffee fruit and the beans pass through mostly undigested and are then collect and sold at a premium to suckers.

Roastmaster Jim Cone: "We roast it to, ah, about 420 degrees. It's a very rich, ah, cup of coffee, very chocolaty, ah, actually a carmelly taste around the bottom of your tongue." Chocolaty??? Carmelly??? Boy what a master of the analogy.

Can you see it. $10 dollars, take a sip.....

"Hey, this coffee tastes like weasel shit!"

Return of IG

Well my first full day back at it since before Christmas - yeeechhhhhh........

2007 - Whoo Hoo! -
so what!


(please just shoot me if I ever do this)

Resolutions - never make 'em, no problem worrying about breaking 'em.

I do think I'll try to keep up my blog postings a little better.

Lots of work to do and some serious work at that (I know I'm never too specific about my work or my clients but with good reason).

So, Happy New Year to everyone.
Now, get back to work.

Tags: New Year, 2007